Saturday, May 11, 2013

Introducing Tiny Mr. T

   Well hello again.

   I want to tell you about something.

   If you and I are Facebook friends or if we connect on Instagram, then you may have noticed a flood of unusual photos lately. The Lazy W world has a new cast member... 

   Tiny Mr. T.

   He is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

   Handsome gifted me with not one but two Tiny T's just a few minutes after I crossed the finish line at the Memorial half marathon. I laughed so hard!



   One T is several inches tall and wears a small replica race bib with my runner number on it. He sits on my desk in the Apartment and guards my messes there. The smaller one, hereafter known as Tiny T, is Polly Pocket size and has been joining me on all kinds of adventures, farm related and otherwise, ever since that Sunday.


Tiny T helps me thin carrots and radishes where they grow too thick.
Tiny T supports the slow food movement for sure.

   It's one of those perfect, impossible to duplicate gifts. And I  hope my guy knows how much I appreciate them both.

   So now you have met Tiny T, and I am wondering if you love him as much as I do.

   The real Mr. T has been a cult favorite of mine since childhood. So cool. I tried to dress up like him for Halloween last year, but Handsome absolutely did not want to be seen with a girl dressed like that. Can't imagine why.

   For many passionate reasons I just can't get enough Mr. T. And no, it's not embarrassing at all. Frankly I don't understand why more people DON'T love him. 

   He pities fools, you guys!!!

   Furthermore:


  1. Mr. T. wears as many dang necklaces as he wants. Sorta like me, but even more. 
  2. He has the coolest hairstyle and beard, way cool, not that I would dare copy such coolness. James Harden has it goin' on, but he was not the first.
  3. Mr. T used to carry around the biggest, bulkiest boombox just to strut through life bathed in the aura of good music. Who else is that cool? Nobody. Now we all settle for earbuds. At least some of us do still strut through life.
  4. Mr. T always seems to wearing a great threadbare denim jacket. Surely I don't have to explain this.
  5. Mr. T is strong and capable and fearsome; but he admits his weakness, which is a debilitating fear of flying (at least in the role of B.A. in The A Team). I admire anyone who doesn't try to conceal his flaws.
  6. Finally? He never tolerates sleeves. The original t-shirt surgeon.

Side Note: It took me forty five minutes to figure out
how to NOT say "t-shirt surgery doer."  Surgist? Surgeryist? 
WHAT IS IT? Oh, surgeon. Right. Onward.

   So now in adulthood I cling to my action-figure Tiny Mr. T with lots of ridiculous hilarity and sincere appreciation. Since that race Sunday, Tiny Mr. T has been joining me on all kinds of adventures. It's been a busy couple of weeks for both of us.

   Care to take a peek?


Tiny Mr. T groomed and watered my potted herbs and then insisted
I finish digging the circular herb bed outside the kitchen window.
I still haven't quite finished it, and Tiny T furrows his brow in frustration, pitying me.


Tiny Mr. T collected eggs very early one morning
and is so short (sorry, it's true)
that he almost got lost in the shred.
But then he is so strong that he clawed his way out. 
The hens are surprisingly not afraid of him at all.


Tiny Mr. T went with me to substitute teach a first grade class one morning.
Those precocious kids saw him in my hand and promptly asked me,
"Mrs. Wreath why are you carrying around a small James Harden?"
If you are an OKC Thunder basketball fan then you understand this problem.
I swiftly corrected their misstep and gave them all detention.


Tiny Mr. T accompanied me to a book club discussion dinner for Don Quixote.
He chimed in sparingly, believing the knight-errant hero to be quite out of his mind like Murdock,
 then pitied the next person who assigned us another classic to read. 
"It's summertime now and we need easier stuff!" He said.


Then Tiny T went with Handsome and me to work the first car show of this new season.
He collected money and guarded it well.
Tiny T appreciates beautiful cars and is very protective of them.


On a chilly and gray Saturday afternoon Handsome and I went
to the Zombie Bolt, a really crazy fun 5-K event here in Oklahoma.
Tiny T went with us and is on the verge of declaring zombies as equally terrifying as airplanes.
Can you blame him? Tiny T is barely an appetizer to these creatures.



Although I have been trying to eat clean and detox a little, 
and be super productive and cram activity into every spare hour,
Tiny T understands the value of rest.
On a recent lunch break while subbing fifth grade, 
he urged me to chill. Have a snickers. Read a book. Order some seeds. 
I did, and it was bliss. Tiny T gets it.


   Okay friends. Are you with me? Are you beginning to feel the power and wisdom Tiny T has to offer? Will you please join his fan club? Just follow along with his adventures on Instagram and if you have a character he needs to meet, let me know! Some friends of ours are apparently searching for a tiny A-Team van for Tiny T, and I groove that.

"I believe in the golden rule.
 The man with the gold... Rules."
 ~Mr. T
xoxoxoxo   

pinnable

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