Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Five Things That Should not Bother me as Much as They Do

   I have for many years held close to my heart a wonderful quote which speaks to the disproportionate power of small problems to weigh on your spirit even worse than the biggest trials:

"It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out;
it's the pebble in your shoe."
~Muhammad Ali

  Right? We can usually keep a large challenge in perspective, scaling it down, breaking it up into manageable pieces that we conquer one after another until the thing is done. Or maybe our deepest heartaches are surrendered because that's all there is left to do, and we bear the pain until the prayer is answered. But how often do life's smallest, weirdest annoyances drive us to the breaking point?

   Super often. Very often. All the dang time often.

   Following are some culprits in my life. The Big Stuff is in check. These things? They makes me use swear words. You know. Like my good buddy M.  : )

1. The wrong color of shopping buggy. It sets the tone for my entire shopping trip. It affects my decision making skills. It distracts me and causes me to buy too much coffee and lettuce and not enough freezer paper. Of all the possible buggy color choices, I simply cannot abide orange. Unless it is Thunder basketball season. Then only if I am wearing blue. I hate that this is so important to me, but it just is.

2.  Hammering my bony shin against the low metal bar of that stupid orange shopping buggy. Childbirth hurts less. I am pretty sure the fronts of my shins are both permanently dented. And it's not like walking more slowly helps that much! One wrong step and you're a victim.

3.  When people leave their hair styling products and hair brushes anywhere near the bathroom sink, where I brush my teeth. I have a very real mortal fear of getting hair in my mouth, so brushing my teeth where someone's hair might at any moment jump up on a light breeze and attack me... well, it is horrific. FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-GOD-BABE. I am begging you.

3.  Tangled up garden hoses. Especially when they are a hundred million miles long. Just kill me.

4.  House flies, squash bugs, and grasshoppers. In that exact order.

5.  Botching a great joke. Either by losing that good, funny rhythm or completely forgetting the punch line. This happens more than I care to admit.

   Whew!! I feel better. Thanks for listening. Now what silly little pebbles are stuck in your shoe?

"Adversity is like a strong wind. it tears away from us
 all but the things that cannot be torn,
 so that we see ourselves as we really are."
~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

p.s. Have you read Memoirs of a Geisha? Good movie, great book. Treat yourself.


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