Saturday, November 16, 2013

Watering My Soul Roots Deeply

   What a whirlwind of emotion and thought my life has been lately. Even more so than usual. And that's totally okay with me. This change in atmosphere has caused me to focus more deliberately. To slow down drastically. Sometimes being led around by the next very most important thing is weirdly refreshing, as opposed to just coordinating a circus of marginally worthwhile projects. Being in a state of intensity allows the fringey stuff to fall away, mostly unnoticed, forcing me to deeply water the roots of my heart and hopefully the roots of my family, too.

   I am sick. Bodily, I am run down and exhausted and though on the upswing finally, battling a cold virus like I have not felt in years. I don't get sick too often, so when it happens I feel almost angry about it, bored, frustrated, useless. This time, I was too emotionally spent to indulge that way. I just sought medical attention, slept, and allowed my husband to care for me in his own ways. When your primary role in life is to be the caretaker, surrendering this can be difficult, especially when your house is full of extra loved ones. But I'm grateful to have a guy who insists on it.

   I have been reading more, which is one of the very good things that had been abandoned this past difficult month. I picked up Stitched by Anne Lamott and devoured it in one night. Then I picked up One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and am now immersed in that beautiful volume most happily. These modern books, on the heels of reading Chesterson's Orthodoxy and C.S. Lewis' The Abolition of Man, well... Let's just say I could spend all winter sitting with these words, sorting them all out, comparing, drawing parallels, pressing out and preserving the rich, oily truths they offer. It's thrilling to sense that life is orchestrating your reading, your spiritual education. I'm paying close attention.

   It all is so in step with the vision I had of the Worry Door and those precipitating lessons about gratitude, positive thinking, faith despite the circumstances, and the incredible, limitless power of Love.


   Pomegranate seeds. Spinach. Oranges. Sweet Potatoes. Raw salad. Chicken broth. Hot tea. Water. Rest. Reading good, inspiring, nourishing books. Writing down my blessings in a thorough, celebratory list. Being present with my people and just soaking up the farm, minute by minute, hour by hour, not rushing a single day. Internalizing how blessed and safe we are, even in the face of ongoing grief. These are the features of my focus right now.

   There are so many things for which to be truly, deeply, madly grateful. Slowing down and noticing them really does strengthen our bones. it waters the roots of our hearts.

   In the eye of the hurricane again, I truly feel at peace. Wishing you the same blessing and every good thing that waters your soul roots deeply.

I only deepen the wound of the world 
when I neglect to give thanks
for all the good things
God gives.
~Ann Voskamp


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