Friday, December 27, 2013

Pause to Focus

   It's the day after the day after Christmas. Our tree is still up, as are all of our holiday decorations, and it all will be for at least another week. To me this is comforting, although the great late winter purge and scrub will be comforting too.

   The recent cloak of thick ice is nearly melted, the sun is shining and warm for two more days, a little taste of spring right after the Winter Solstice, and all the animals are thankfully very happy and healthy. Our intermittent power outages have proven to be memory makers more than serious inconveniences, too. So that is nice.

   Handsome and I are carving a path through the holidays one gathering at a time, battling high fevers, terrible coughing fits, and threadbare nerves day by day. Honestly, friends, it has not been an easy Christmas. But our blessings are innumerable and we are choosing to count them and rest in the coziness of love and peace every chance we get.

   We do a lot of maniacal laughing at the Murphy's Law vibe life has been displaying, too. It's funny, but maddening, how difficult planning has been this month. I mean, I should really sit down and record all the lessons we have had to learn about living in the moment. Being present and focused on the here and now rather than always stretching, yearning, preparing for the next event or tomorrow's list. We have barely felt safe planning what to eat for dinner lately! But... these are good lessons to remember. So we bow our heads in either obedience or resignation, depending on the emotion of the moment, and get back to simple things.

   Maybe if I list the things I would like to plan for, I can rest a little and get back to the business of right now.

   Things I am Thinking About 
That Life Keeps Telling Me Are for Later:

  • Painting the Apartment and finishing window dressings there.
  • Shampooing all of our carpets and upholstered furniture.
  • Rethinking the herb and veggie gardens for this spring.
  • Planning a lovely little book release reception for Dee. (I dreamt about this last night.)
  • Beginning serious training for the full OKC Memorial Marathon in a few short months. (I have barely been free to run a few miles here and there lately... Will I be able to turn this around in time to be ready for 26.2?)
  • Switching from blogger to a legit website and getting serious about writing.
  • Attending beekeeping classes and starting with fresh colonies.
  • Spending more time with my parents and my Grandpa.
  • Catching up on reading all these great books in my house.
  • Spending time with our friends. I miss our friends.
   Some of what I crave right now is purely selfish, so I try to remedy that by making unselfish choices hour by hour. Take stock of how much I have already received, how much is already working in my favor, and how much I can afford to emotionally and practically give away to others. Plenty. I can certainly afford a more open handed life than what I have been living. A less clenched way of moving about the world. Terribly, it has been with the people closest to me that I have been most clenched. 

   So life is good. It is full of teaching things and celebrating things. It is rich and meaningful and delicious, even with its bitter surprises. 

   How are you holding up?





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