|This beautiful baby will be seventeen on Saturday. |
When I look at her sweet face or think of the time that has passed, I cannot breathe.
Handsome and I ate a light supper and I studied several pages of The Odyssey then we watched the sun sink behind that same back field where I ran earlier, citronella lamp glowing between our lounge chairs. We listened to the horses crunching grass. I stretched and reflected on how little I did today, hating myself for it. He tended to a flock of guineas sounding their Owl Alarm.
Overall it was a dense but calm day, inactive compared to most weekdays around here, and I am frustrated by the bare minimum feel of it all.
"You can do anything you want,
but not everything."
That is the crux, isn't it? Deciding what should fall away, what is nothing more than a distraction or an outright attack.
Resisting the pull of that door to the Worry Room, swimming strongly through the waves of pain and challenging emotions without succumbing to the old downward spiral.
Looking up when the habit of staring inward becomes unproductive. Seeking beauty and surrounding ourselves with it, celebrating it in all of its intricate and surprising incarnations. These are the actions that replace the slippery, dangerous ones. These keep me out of the Worry Room and back on track, doing more than just whittling down lists of projects. These positive habits keep me in the business of building life and cultivating joy.
Thanks for listening to me ramble! I just needed a little pep talk tonight, to be ready for a big, rich, textured day tomorrow! I hope you are closing up your week with a healthy perspective to match a satisfying routine. I hope you feel loved and are finding ways every day to show it. I hope you can look up and know you are seen and heard.