This beautiful baby will be seventeen on Saturday. When I look at her sweet face or think of the time that has passed, I cannot breathe. |
Handsome and I ate a light supper and I studied several pages of The Odyssey then we watched the sun sink behind that same back field where I ran earlier, citronella lamp glowing between our lounge chairs. We listened to the horses crunching grass. I stretched and reflected on how little I did today, hating myself for it. He tended to a flock of guineas sounding their Owl Alarm.
Overall it was a dense but calm day, inactive compared to most weekdays around here, and I am frustrated by the bare minimum feel of it all.
"You can do anything you want,
but not everything."
That is the crux, isn't it? Deciding what should fall away, what is nothing more than a distraction or an outright attack.
Resisting the pull of that door to the Worry Room, swimming strongly through the waves of pain and challenging emotions without succumbing to the old downward spiral.
Looking up when the habit of staring inward becomes unproductive. Seeking beauty and surrounding ourselves with it, celebrating it in all of its intricate and surprising incarnations. These are the actions that replace the slippery, dangerous ones. These keep me out of the Worry Room and back on track, doing more than just whittling down lists of projects. These positive habits keep me in the business of building life and cultivating joy.
Thanks for listening to me ramble! I just needed a little pep talk tonight, to be ready for a big, rich, textured day tomorrow! I hope you are closing up your week with a healthy perspective to match a satisfying routine. I hope you feel loved and are finding ways every day to show it. I hope you can look up and know you are seen and heard.
Oblah-Di, Oblah-dah!
xoxoxoxo
Firstly, I'm glad you are back online with no problems.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, glad you are busy and getting away from the Worry Room - it does tend to creep up on us, doesn't it?
Thirdly, ALWAYS look upwards and to the future instead of reflecting on the past. It's the only way I get through sometimes.
Hugs and warm thoughts from a very hot and humid Canada.
XX
Thank you Heather... I am happy to say we're not only back online but fortified in our security. LOL And the Worry Room is still locked tight.
DeleteI know you understand, and I appreciate your encouraging words SO MUCH.
Stay cool pickle chef-furniture artist!!
Life is beautiful. And when you ramble to us, we get to share in yours.
ReplyDeleteThank you Nadya... xoxo Life is TRULY beautiful, isn't it? So nice to "see" you. Really glad you don't mind the rambling. Thanks for stopping in!!
DeleteI had a similar kind of day yesterday. Hugs from afar for you in your contemplation and brief pause in activity. Sometimes apparent inactivity can be very productive. Love your ramblings and I'm so glad they're still here. xo
ReplyDeleteAlso, that sweet face in that picture. Mmmm. Delicious.
Oh man that hit me in the belly. I haven't heard that in a while... that sometimes apparent inactivity can be very productive. Thanks lady. I hope your contemplative day was healthy for you too! So so so glad you drop in. Would love to come help you dig bamboo and chat and drink coffee!!
DeleteI look forward every day to the loving nights.
ReplyDeleteRelative inactivity is sometimes good for the soul, M. There is no need to allow that "hating thyself" crapola to take hold. There is, however, a need for rest. A need for deep breaths and relatively unproductive days and sleepy affectionate afternoons.
ReplyDeletexoxo