The Afterglow of Little Women

   Last month our famous little Dinner Club With a Reading Problem met to discuss Louisa May Alcott's Little Women. It was a grand time, filled with cookie decorating, food eating and eating again, and several fantastic hours of laughter and hugs. Heart-warming stuff, you guys. Seri hosted us and cemented a new holiday tradition!

   Something tells me I have already told you that much already.

   The unfortunate secret, though, is that on that first weekend of December I was all caught up in other books and other projects and wading in the deep pool we call "Christmas" and did not finish this fine book in time to properly explore it with my comrades. What a shame!!! This is among the loveliest, most soul nourishing things I have ever read.

   So here we are now, the first bright weekend of this fresh young year, and I have finally polished off what I agree is a masterpiece. My reflex is to review it like any other book, but reviewing this work seems at best redundant but, more accurately, arrogant.

   Still, this is such a finely layered and solid piece of classic American literature and such a wholesome boost to my spirit personally, that some thoughts beg articulation. Will you please bear with me? And if you have read this fine volume before will you pretty please join this belated discussion??

   How to divide my myriad thoughts on these 578 pages? There's just so much worth keeping from this. More than many other books, for sure. So over the next week or so I will be peppering this little page with what beauty I can extract from Little Women and distill into my own words.

• Wisdom form Mrs. March, the matriarch. 
• The extensive list of other literary works cited in this work. 
• Life themes that sprout and grow as the March children do the same. 
• How Little Women might relate to our study on Proverbs 31. (I bet you thought I had abandoned that again, huh? Well I didn't; I only decided too do it naturally, bot hurriedly.)
• Character analyses and how different people identify with different March sisters.
• How does modern romance compare to the romances then?
• How Little Women helped expand my vocabulary.

   All of that to say that I have more to say, later. And all in the midst of a thousand other things, so I do hope you will drop in now and then this month!

   Have you read Little Women? Did you read it as a student? Who was your favorite character? How can you imagine it applying to modern life? Are you interested in doing a little guest post about Little Women? It would totally earn you honorary membership int our book club!

"I'd no idea hearts could take in so many;
mine is so elastic, it seems full now..."
~Jo March
xoxoxoxo
    



 

Proverbs 31 for the Single Woman (Guest Post)

Today I am so happy and honored to introduce to you fine people 

a remarkable young woman named Misti. 

She has been in our famous little Oklahoma Dinner Club With a Reading Problem 

for about a year, but I only learned this week that she also writes a blog.(http://scribblesandmusings.wordpress.com/) 

I became quickly enamored with her forthright and tender approach to Bible themes 

and asked her to contribute her thoughts to my study on Proverbs 31, 

which she graciously agreed to do. Thanks Misti!!

I think you'll really enjoy what she has written, especially if you too are a single gal. 

Please say hello and share your thoughts!

Proverbs 31 for the Single Woman


   For the longest time, I’ve thought that Proverbs 31 was something to attain to, but not entirely applicable to me. After all, I’m not married. I don’t have children. The closest thing I have to a dependent is a shaggy mutt of a dog who lives in my back yard most of the year. Other than a bit of attention, some food, water, and shelter in from the weather, he’s pretty content and low maintenance.

   I’ve been asked once or twice before to share my thoughts on Proverbs 31, and I have to admit, I felt pretty inadequate. I don’t have a family to provide for. I don’t have a husband to sit in the gate and be known for his wisdom. I don’t have children to rise up and call me blessed.

   But tonight, I thought about the story of Tabitha, or Dorcas, in the book of Acts. She was a woman who took what she had and made use of it to help others. So much so that when she passed, the people begged that Peter would pray that God would raise her from the dead because of their need of her.

   It blended with something else I’ve been thinking of lately – the impact of the single, childless woman in society. From the perspective of someone who does genealogy for a hobby, the single, childless women in the families tend to be forgotten. It would seem that they've left no legacy. But then, I have thought about the ones I have known about.

   There is the blind aunt of my great-great grandmother who lived next door to her family and helped with the family duties and the children. Her story was passed down through the family, and she is not forgotten.

   And the ones who have touched my life:

   Sis. Hattie Montgomery was an elderly lady in the church when my dad was a child. She married, but never had children of her own. All the children who went through her Sunday School, or who knew her as Aunt Hattie, or who grew up seeing her faithfulness in the church and heard stories about how she helped build the church building, or the stories of her near mishaps while continuing to drive into her 90s, has forgotten her. She left a legacy.

   Sis. Jewel was the quiet lady at church who filled in as Sunday School teacher, or who prayed. She was my brother-in-law’s great aunt. And she was the one who told me I should be singing in the choir and encouraged me to do that. She never married or had children, but she isn't forgotten. I’ve heard about how she was such a help to Sis. Hattie in her later years, and always there to help out those who were in need.

   My own aunt, Jennie, has been a blessing to the many children she has led in the singing part of children’s meeting at church. She’s a woman of so many talents, and indispensable at the job she has done. She’s touched many lives in her work at the junior high for several decades. Her nieces and nephews, and their children will never forget her.

   These women didn't have children of their own, but they have touched many lives. I see the traits of the Proverbs 31 woman in these ladies. They have been resourceful, talented, busy looking out for the ones in their circle of influence, and a great blessing to the family, the church and the community. I appreciate their good example, and the legacy they leave to us.

Again, Misti, thank you so much for sharing these beautiful thoughts 

and memories of some very special women in your life! 

I appreciate that you have illuminated the loving traits of a Proverbs 31 woman, 

traits that any woman can adapt to her own circumstances. 

Support, encouragement, care taking, tending, availability... Just love.

Love Your People. Whoever They Are
xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Guest Post by Amber, Happiest Color of Crazy

   This morning I would like to introduce you to another lovely and generous guest poster, Amber. She is a stay-at-home Mommy to three beautiful and precocious little girls,and in a thousand ways she radiates the spirit of a young, traditional Proverbs 31 woman.

   I asked her to contribute because while so many women spend precious energy complaining about the drudgery of  domestic life, she celebrates every detail and magnifies God in fun, believable ways. I can feel her joy through her Facebook posts and original poetry, which is what she chose to share with us today...

   Enjoy...

The Happiest Color of Crazy

When I was young I had big dreams
romantic visions of all life could be.
I wanted to fall in love, be swept off my feet
have a beautiful home and a loving family.

God sees the desires of my heart
hearing the prayers my fears won't let me speak.
He knows just how to fill my lack
becoming my strong knowing my weak.

My picture of happy has changed over time.
Things aren't always what they might seem.
I do have love, a home and three kids
but life is all but serene....

We find ourselves always behind
trying to do all that's needing done.
The kids are loud making a mess
keeping us on the run...

The bills keep coming but sleep rarely does
Life's demands pile up like the dishes.
No time for dates, or leisurely mornings.
An endless list of empty wishes...

That's when I can tell my heart has turned
and I must humbly repent.
Losing my joy by forgetting my thanks
is the surest road to discontent.

I must forget about what I want
and seek Him first in ALL things.
Looking around for His gifts of grace
in the simplest moments that each day brings.

My days are painted the happiest color of crazy.
My God supplies my every need.
I have everything I never knew I wanted
and my heart is full indeed!

    I especially love this line toward the end, "Losing my joy by forgetting my thanks is the surest road to discontent."

   Thank you, Amber! Thanks for this poetry, and thanks for sharing on Facebook the delicious minutiae of daily life with your young family. You make me homesick for those days and grateful for my memories more than you can imagine. When people tell you it goes by quickly, they are speaking the truth. Soak up this happy color of crazy. May all of your dreams come true, if even in wildly unexpected ways!

"My heart is full indeed."

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31:10-12 Stand By Your Man

   Thanks again for joining me on this slow exploration of Proverbs 31. The rest of this month should feel a lot more relevant to us ladies, to those of us craving to be intentional, spiritually meaningful wives and homemakers. It's kind of like the long awaited cheese and dessert buffet when all you've eaten for hours is a rice cake and some limp celery.

   No offense to the first nine verses; they are important in their own way. But now that we have context and voice nailed down we can really start having some fun.

   Real quick, do you ever do this: Do you ever feel super guilty for referring to a Bible passage like this, "Oh now that's a good one!" As if to imply the rest are not so hot? I digress, but it's a thinker.

   Okay.

   Proverbs 31: 10-12

"Who can find a virtuous woman?

for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,
so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

   Beautiful and complex.

   Even without all of the supporting instruction that follows, these three verses pretty much summarize the importance and purpose of a good wife. She is priceless. Her husband's heart trusts safely in her. I love that, the notion that his heart trusts in her, his innermost self, his unspoken core. That's powerful. For her entire life, she only helps him; she never brings him harm. Everybody needs someone that devoted, right? Apparently, men especially need this. And women are well suited for the job.

   These qualities probably seem easy enough to possess as a newlywed bride, or at any time in life that the swells of romance are cresting high and frothy. It's easy and fun to strive for excellence at those times. Because it just feels so darn good.

Our first kiss as a married couple, 2001.

   I love taking excellent care of my husband when we have been trading lots of love notes and such. I am long on inspiration of how to spoil him when we are clicking along in sync with each other, feeding greedily off of the sugary, if shallow, nourishment of romance.

   But since all relationships have fluctuating glamour, since every marriage has its challenges, we will eventually reach a point where it is not so easy to lavish each other with goodness. That doesn't mean we're off the hook!

   Personally, I must learn to be just as devoted and trustworthy to Handsome when I am feeling insecure and afraid as when that lovely swell of romance is carrying me easily above our problems. He doesn't need my devotion any less just because I am feeling un-spectacular.

   Virtuous. This could encompass so much about the woman's character, and perhaps it varies from person to person. But I think it's worth noticing that virtue is mentioned ahead of beauty.

   No need of spoil. What does this mean to you? To me it conjures up ideas of living within our means, financially. A husband whose wife overspends their resources will eventually find himself in need of spoil, in need of finding money somewhere to cover the gap. But a man who trusts safely in his wife knows that she will not abuse their cash or credit cards, for example.

   Or perhaps it has to do with fidelity and loyalty. What do you think?


   She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. I mean, that sounds simple and obvious. It should be. But back to the less enchanted times... How much effort does it take for a wife to do her husband good when she disagrees with his decisions? Or when he makes a mistake or outright hurts her? This verse doesn't offer the comfy caveat that a desirable, priceless wife is only meant to do good to her husband when it is easy to do so; rather, it says that she is always good to him. She is always his supporter and his ally.

   Moreover, she does good to him. That to me is an active suggestion. She isn't just waiting around being reactive, as is so natural for women to do. She is actively helping him, finding on her own ways to bless him and support him, all the days of her life. It doesn't end when the honeymoon is over. And it doesn't end when the children leave the nest. And it doesn't end when you both retire or have mid life crises or whatever, or when one of you is sick. The direction to love and help and do good only evolves with time, with our changing needs.

   Is anybody else resisting the urge to sing Stand By Your Man?

   Twang away, ladies. Just twang away.

   I definitely realize some of you are rolling your eyes and maybe even flipping me off right now. Relax. It's just a song.

   The thing is, wherever you fall in the broad spectrum of modern feminism, these Bible verses clearly state that a husband thrives with the support and love of his wife. How could he not? This is not useless, meaningless stuff. This is how we were created. This is how we are designed to complement each other in marriage.

   At least that's how I see it.

   Give him two arms to cling to.

   Be proud of him.

   Stand by him, and not just when it's easy.

   Be priceless.

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Passing of a Matriarch

   Late last night my husband's grandmother passed away. She was the matriarch of his Dad's family and the woman who helped carry the moniker of The Lazy W from the Oklahoma Land Run generation to her children's, and now to ours.

   Was she a Proverbs 31 kind of woman?

   Absolutely.

   Mrs. Myrtle Wreath was a devoted wife and mother. She thrived in her home and made it a haven for her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

   She sewed extensively for her family, including beautiful matching square-dance apparel for herself and her husband. In their youth they were practically famous in Oklahoma for their dancing! She quilted magically by hand, often from scraps (a woman after my own heart for sure).

   Grandma Myrtle was known as a magnificent cook, perhaps especially of sweets. Her grandchildren have fond memories of old-fashioned taffy pulls at the holidays, a tradition I really hope to revive soon at our much smaller Lazy W. I have a stack of her handwritten recipes that will get dusted off this weekend for Handsome and his Dad, starting with Snicker-doodles. She drank strong coffee with real cream, no sugar, and plenty of it.

   She always kept a clean, comfortable, and well appointed home and opened it constantly to loved ones. She also worked outside the home when necessary to provide for her young family.

   This is a woman who helped build a successful farm in the western prairies of Oklahoma. Together with her husband Paul, she raised three beautiful children, two boys and a girl. She helped him farm wheat and cattle commercially, and they grew productive kitchen gardens and kept chickens, dairy cows, and pigs year after year.

   Grandma Myrtle was a strong, gentle, industrious Oklahoma pioneer, as true as they come, and she was a Proverbs 31 woman naturally. Even without claiming much religion publicly, she embodied these values, and her family was blessed extensively by that. What a lovely thing to strive for!

********************

   As our family huddles up for the weekend of grieving and remembrance, I may miss a few days of posting for this Proverbs 31 project. But I am so grateful to have the image of this woman fresh in my heart, as well as images of my own grandmothers, to delve deeply into the best parts of these scriptures next week.

   Thanks in advance for your warm wishes to Handsome and his Dad, and please feel free to share memories of the special Proverbs 31 women in your life!

xoxoxoxo


 

Proverbs 31: Guest Post by the Lovely & Fascinating Periphery

Where Is My Mind? 

King Solomon and The Pixies

For starters, a giant thank you to Marie for her thoughtful contemplation of Proverbs 31 this month. She has given me new perspectives on some dear old verses. Not to mention, llamas. And thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me guest post here today, Marie. I am truly honored that you would let my words fill your space for a day.

Do you listen to The Pixies? No matter. That's what Youtube is for.

I married a die-hard Pixies fan, so I've seen Frank Black close enough to almost reach out and rub his grumpy bald head twice and this song features heavily in the soundtrack of my life. Not a fan? That's OK. It's an acquired taste.

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground,
Try this trick and spin it, yeah.
Your head will collapse
If there's nothing in it.
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

We are busy people. There are never, ever enough hours in the day. (Except sometimes we have those days that have far too many hours and it's not bedtime soon enough, but those are just as bad.) Stress related illnesses and injuries are killing more and more people. It's serious, folks. We are busy people. 

Where is my mind?

Read about the woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. She's a busy woman. She stays up late and gets up early, she cooks exotic meals, she gets the shopping done, she and her family are well dressed, she makes her own clothes and then sells some too, she's a philanthropist, she does real estate deals, she's got her own vineyard! And after all of this, her family blesses her and tells other people how awesome she is. Is she for real? What's her secret?

We have different work now than our busy friend of thousands of years ago. Not many of us are seeking out flax and wool out of necessity (although, the knitters among us may have some stashed away for fun.) Our work varies from household to household. Some of us have children and spouses, some of us have animals, some of us have demanding day jobs, some of us have lots of land, some of us have health issues to manage. Some of us have all of the above. Are we stressed? 

Where is my mind?

She does good and not harm... she works with willing hands... she dresses herself with strength... she makes her arms strong... she perceives... she considers... she is not afraid... she opens her hand... she opens her mouth with wisdom... the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

These all work together to paint a picture of mindfulness: of conscious and considered choices, of intelligence and purpose, of planning and forethought. This is no harried housewife, running around to put out fires. This is no resentful martyr. This is a strong and mindful woman.

Where is my mind?

Perhaps this woman is a myth. No one gets it right all the time. The work of daily life can wear us down and discourage us - no matter what our particular work is. There are sometimes fires to put out, despite our best efforts. Sometimes we find ourselves spinning with our feet in the air and our heads on the ground. Sometimes our mouths open with exhaustion and the teaching of kindness isn't anywhere near our tongues. These are realities. It is also a reality that there is no escaping this work of being alive. But I believe in another facet of this reality, too. That we are all given the ability to choose how we live, to aspire, to want to do better, to succeed. 

Frank Black is no King Solomon but he has a point, though: Your head will collapse if there's nothing in it. Mindfulness. It's not easy. We may not get it right all of the time, but are we living with conscious choice or merely reacting to our circumstances? How often do our heads collapse from lack of content?

This mindful woman Solomon's mama is telling him about? Give her the fruit of her hands, let her works praise her in the gates. She reaps the rewards of her mindful life and her life speaks for itself. It not only speaks for itself, it sings for itself. I want a life that sings.

Where is my mind?

********************

Okay friends, did I deliver or what?? 

Thank you so much, Suzanne.

Thank you from my guts and ribs and fingertips.

That was beautiful.

Iespecially love the assertion that the Proverbs 31 woman is 

"no resentful martyr," but rather a "strong and mindful woman."

And yes, Frank Black, we collapse if empty.

Excellent.

Please keep track of Suzanne's constant stream of brilliance over at Peripheral Images

~Marie

"Out of the corner of your eye is where the magic happens."

~Periphery

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Learning and Seeking

For the next skinny little slice of Proverbs 31, verses 8 & 9,

I am rebooting my entry from October 9th of last year.

********************

   The next two verses are rich enough in their own right, but they also are accompanied by a long list of references in the Schofield text.  In my opinion this stuff needs very little expounding, though each of us, depending on our stations and functions in this world, may learn to apply the directives uniquely.  First, the lines from Proverbs:

  "Open thy mouth for the dumb in the course of all 
such as are appointed to destruction.  

Open thy mouth, judge righteously, 
and plead the cause of the poor and needy."

********************

These references follow:

"I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame. 

I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not I searched out."

~Job 29:15,16

"And Johnathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, 

Let not the king sin against his servant, against David, because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee-ward very good."

~I Samuel 19:4

"Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment:  thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty:  but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour."

~Leviticus 19:15

"And I charged your judges at that time, saying, Hear the causes between your brethren, and judge righteously between every man and his brother, and the stranger that is with him."

~Deuteronomy 1:16

"Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him."
~Job 29:12

"Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow."
~Isaiah 1:17

"He judged the cause of the poor and needy; then it was well with him:  was not this to know me?  saith the Lord."
~Jeremiah 22:16

********************

   In what ways are you exposed to the poor and needy?  The widowed, the orphaned, the lonely?  How do you personally cross paths with those who cannot speak up for themselves or who are appointed to destruction?  Granted, these lines might be directed to an actual ruler, a king, but then again it could be advice or instruction for the church too. Which means it's for us.

   Also, how are we doing in the judging righteously department?  Not so awesomely most times, I suspect.  We are all naturally shaped with unique filters, feelings, preferences, grudges, politics, indoctrination, just all kinds of multi-faceted, self-protective words that really mean, "personal opinion."  And personal opinion has a way of affecting how we treat others. Personal opinion also has a way of being wrong.  Ever been called to jury duty and felt, whether you expressed it or not, a strong bias, despite the evidence?  Ever catch yourself being cold to someone you don't know based on another person's opinion of him?  I have.  And worse.

   These events are common and natural human behavior, but if we read these words in the Bible then we hear a call to do better.  To strive for a life past what is natural and easy.  Stretch, not stagnate.

   I am reminded that every story has more than one side, very often more than two.  And I have been wrong a thousand million times in my life, siding with the wrong person, standing on a moral I later discovered to be flawed or at least incomplete.  This is scary; it impresses on me the gravity of the job of judges who decide the fates of people daily.

   These two little verses have excavated out of my heart more guilt and greater challenge than I expected.  I have a lot of work to do, but I believe that it can be turned around.  I believe that love and mercy are powerful, and I am hoping for second chances.  Checkout the above reference in Isaiah; the words learn and seek are loud to my eyes.

   Learn to do well.

   Seek judgment.

   These are active verbs, words that immediately acknowledge a position of lacking and then command work and hopefully progress.  Ignorance and error can be overcome, so do it.  (I am bossing myself around, not you guys.)  I am flat out thrilled by this idea, this encouragement.  

   

   That's all for tonight.  Handsome and I have bellies full of homemade chicken pot pie, and we need to cuddle. Then we had better go outside and check on that llama. He is so spicy you guys!

xoxoxo

Proverbs 31: She Might Have Been a Llama Momma

   I mean, really, it's totally possible that the fabled lady of Proverbs 31 would have kept, in addition to so many other creatures, a llama. This charming and idiosyncratic animal is highly practical, a characteristic she would have prized. It is hard wired to protect its neighboring animals; it doesn't eat that much (compared to pigs, cows, or horses); and it is hardy in tough conditions. Also, besides being practical, llamas are incredibly joyful. And this coming week we are going to discover just how much the Proverbs 31 woman prizes both practicality and joy-making!

   For this application alone, 

really just to support my 31-day foray into Proverbs, 

today Handsome and I adopted a llama.

My husband is extremely supportive 

of all of my crazy projects.

   Our new addition arrived this afternoon via trailer delivery from our wonderful friends and mentors Dean and Maribeth. He was laying down comfortably and munching what I can only assume was manna straight from heaven. I climbed up on the back on the trailer to peek at him, and when we made fleeting eye contact he looked away firmly with that snooty, Roman nose thrust into the frosty air.

   Anyway, he is now strolling his regal self around the middle field, temporarily segregated from the horses and buffalo. He is unaware that, being the newest guy on the block, he is lowest on the totem pole. He and our biggest horse, Chanta, are jockeying for position Numero Uno over the wire fence.

   If the Proverbs 31 lady did in fact keep a llama, I predict she would trim his hooves on her own, brush that matted and mysterious fur daily to a gleaming sheen, and also make sure he is so well socialized that only intruders are spat upon.

   Time will tell if I meet the llama criteria for Proverbs 31. Until then, I just plain love him. I love his arrogant expression. I love his bright white face markings. I love his perfectly straight back and fluffy tail. I love the way he runs downhill and then charges into the pine tree. I love the way he frightens my mare and challenges our alpha. I love that he doesn't yet understand how much time we will spend together. So, so much time you guys. Tomorrow I will finish my reading goals aloud in his field so he grows accustomed to my voice. Maybe.

   We haven't named this guy yet. he is only a few months shy of three years old, and he is kind of full of himself. Do you have any ideas? Over at this blog's Facebook page, some fabulously entertaining people are already cooking up ideas. Join the fun!

   Tomorrow I expect we will be back on track for Proverbs 31, and as we go along I will share more about our llama and his fuzzy companions. Have a lovely evening, have a spectacular beginning to your new work week, and thanks so much for reading!

"You enter into a certain amount of madness

when you marry a person with pets."

~Nora Ephron

xoxoxoxo

 

Continuing Proverbs 31: Waiting for Renewal, Trusting in Love

   In a few short days our family will pass the one year anniversary of a terrible and significant loss. My little sister's husband, from whom she was then recently separated, took his own life. He left behind three beautiful children and a large, loving, extended family.

   In the midst then of attempting the first Proverbs 31 study, I suspended it and wrote this on October 16th of last year:

Breathing Deeply
   Eight days ago the lives of some of my most beloved people changed forever.  Our family was thrust into grief and shock, worse than any I have ever before witnessed firsthand.  All week long we have responded to each other the way I hope all families everywhere can manage to do.  I feel as profoundly grateful for my parents, my siblings, and my husband as I feel sad for the incredible loss being suffered.
   Having just now opened my laptop for the first time since the terrible news, the first thing I notice is that life goes on.  Whether we think we like it or not, the world is still turning.  Other people are still maintaining routines, relationships, and the pursuit of beauty in daily life.  Still oceans of happiness and possibility remain unexplored, and this is good.
   I'll now be gradually stepping back into reading and writing, trying to revive my study of Proverbs 31 and also sharing some of the things we learned this week.  Prayers are still needed and appreciated for my sister, her children  our parents, everybody.
   Rather than leave you on a sad note, I want to assure you of the power of love and hope.  The potential for old hurts to be soothed, for flaring tempers to be cooled.  Love is not just soft and romantic or even sexy; it is truly powerful.  Love motivates; it emboldens; it focuses and multiplies our energy.  Love is miraculous, and it causes me to KNOW that all things are possible.
   Late last night we witnessed the marriage of Handsome's nephew and his young bride, and I could feel in my lungs and my bones that Love is alive.  I breathed it in deeply, let it saturate my body, and savored the realization that what lies ahead of us is better than what lies behind us.
Best wishes, be as happy as you can, count your blessings.
xoxoxo

      

   In the wake of Tim's suicide, as I hope you can only imagine, everything that remains has changed forever. His children continue to grow and mature without him. They are very young and in such pain. His parents continue to live their lives, but they grieve constantly. And my little sister has almost fully self destructed. 

   Exactly one day before this awful, gut wrenching anniversary, my family will be binding together hoping for some good news for my sister, our petite, flaxen haired social butterfly girl, now all grown up and hurting worse than we can imagine. We'll be hoping that her year of extreme mourning is coming to a close and that she can bury some of the debris of this destruction and become a mother and a happy person again.

   I still believe this... That LOVE IS POWERFUL. Not because WE are powerful who give it but because it comes first from LOVE Himself. As flawed and ugly as we sometimes are, we are also drenched in mercy and forgiveness, grace and blessings beyond what we deserve. The more we share it and pour it back out to others, the better it flows back to us.

   Those of you who read the Lazy W and consider me a friend, I am asking for your prayers this coming week. Beyond just thinking positively and making the most of life's heartache, this is a serious need, and I would be so grateful if you would share some of your love and faith with my little sister, her children, and our parents. I firmly believe that prayer can change things, that LOVE is the most powerful force on earth and beyond it. And I would be so happy for some relief to rain down on our family.

   Thank you ahead of time, because I know so many of you by name who will already be praying before you comment or email me or anything! 

   We'll pick back up on Proverbs 31 tomorrow.

XOXOXOXO
   

Proverbs 31, Motherly Advice for Sons...

   Since Proverbs 31 starts off as advice given from a mother to her son, presumably Bathsheba to King Solomon, a man who would hold great influence in the world, I thought it would be fun to collect bits of advice some of my guy friends have received from their own sweet mommas. You will quickly see that not everyone took this assignment too seriously. But that's okay; I appreciate every single submission greatly. Enjoy...

Brian:  "When you're eighteen, you're outta here!" Ha!! Thanks, Brian.

Fairo: "Be good. And if you can't be good, be safe." I just love this. I can totally hear my Grandma Dunaway saying it to my Uncle Chris and me as suntanned, barefoot kids. And she might be laughing as we run outside to play in the wasp-filled barn and hide in the trees from angry cows. Thanks Fairo!

Brad:  "Don't kill your sister, because one day that might make you sad." He claims this advice was often given during a regularly scheduled beat down session between him and his sister. That is a direct quote, folks. Thanks Brad!

Brandy:  "Go to church and always put God first." This is my husband's foremost memory of advice from his Mom, but I can assure you she has taught him thousands of wonderful things, from money management to overall stewardship of your blessings, hard work, and charity. What's beautiful is that the foundation of putting God first kind of covers it all. Oh, and she also taught him all about hot rods and street racing... Ahem...

Pete: "Don't leave fingerprints on the coffee table." Okay. Pete's lovely wife Tracy submitted this on his behalf, and I just want to say that teaching good habits for a clean home might be a skill more future wives would appreciate. Very cool.

Greg: "Please don't put that milk in your ear. It only goes in your mouth." This is my nephew. He is flat out adorable. And two years old. Also, when his Mom and I chat on the phone he likes to yell constantly in the background, "Love you Rie!! Love you Rie!! Love you Rie!!" This is what my siblings called when when they were small and adorable, a long long long time ago (well, Gen still does), and I think it's so funny that he picked it up naturally. Okay, watch that milk, Greg!! xoxo I love you too!!

Bruce:  "Kill them with kindness." This is advice given for dealing with jealousy or anger. I think it's brilliant. Simple, age-old, and applicable to just about any relationship. Thanks to Bruce's wife Serena for submitting this!

Doug:  "If you want to see how a man will treat a woman, watch how he treats his mother."  Also, "Never hit a woman." Have you guys ever heard this before, that a man will treat his wife the way he treats his mother? What are your thoughts?

Zane: "Don't do anything you would be ashamed of or embarrassed to tell your future wife." Ha!! This young man's mom is my gorgeous, smart, and thoroughly lovable cousin Jen. I have spent a lot of energy in life pretending we were twin sisters, that's how much I want to be like her. She's giving you good advice, there, Zane!

Jon said that his sweet Mom gave him mostly practical advice: "Chew with your mouth closed, brush your teeth every night, and don't eat your boogers." I cannot help but wonder about the relationship between these three bits of wisdom... Thanks Jon!

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   And now, for a touch of the timeless, a few little scraps of wisdom from people we don't know:

"When you teach your son, you teach your son's son." ~The Talmud

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." ~Abraham Lincoln

"Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold." ~Chinese Proverb

"Let France have good mothers, and she will have good sons." ~Napoleon Bonaparte

   That last one slays me. How beautiful! To me, this speaks directly to the notion that nourishing our hearts first will inevitably result in an outpouring of health, love, and growth, in all areas of life. We need good sons! So ladies, be good mothers.

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   Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you have time to share your mother-son advice or thoughts on any of these here. Have a wonderful Friday, and if you're in Oklahoma bundle up. We're getting excited for the first truly blustery weekend of the season.

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31, Rebooting Alcohol Text

Hi there!! Thanks for stopping in!

Today is a wonky reboot from last October, 

some remarks on Proverbs 31, verses 3-7.

If you would like to read other entries, 

check out my tab up top.

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   I will try to mostly avoid the Grand Bossy Soapbox on the plain issue of alcohol consumption and just try to let the text (though it is slightly confusing) stand on its own. Alcoholism is real, that much I know. And it destroys lives. That much is immutable. But I do realize lots of people see a vast gray area here, which I will leave each person to explore on her own.

   We'll just lay some stuff out today, okay? If you happen to have some insight or expertise, or really just an opinion, then as always you are 100% welcome and invited to post comments or email and share! That's what this is all about!

   In the light studying I have done, it seems to be a generally agreed upon point that verse three is simply foreshadowing of events in King Solomon's (Lemuel's) reign. As most people know, Solomon was known for his wisdom. So the building of his character is pretty fascinating. The instruction given him by his mother is vital.

"Give not thy strength unto women,

nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings."

   Are there any take-aways here for us, the common people? Not sure. I will resist the temptation to extrapolate meanings where scholars have already explained something clearly and simply.  A King's mother was giving her son advice which he would later need in his reign. I can accept that much and move on...

The Judgement of Solomon, where a mother sacrifices her child to keep him whole.  

A powerful story that is painfully close to my heart.

   The next four verses seem clear enough at first blush but have incited plenty of debate.  This is where I will step back a bit, quote the scripture and references, then keep my remarks brief.  For a change.  LOL.  

"It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgement of any of the afflicted.

Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more."

Schofield References:

• "Blessed art thou, O land, when thy king is the son of nobles, and thy princes eat in due season, for strength, and not for drunkenness!"  ~Ecclesiastes 10:17
• "Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart."  ~Hosea 4:11

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   Okay.  Last October I felt free to give my personal opinions on alcohol and strong drink. Not so much this year. This seems to be part of an evolution in my heart, the distinction between gladdened and mocked. Please feel free to read my thoughts then or ignore me altogether, but mostly please share yours. This all is wildly interesting to me, and I love to hear how other people sort it out.

   Okay.  Thanks again for reading! Tune in either tomorrow or Saturday for something totally different!

"We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe;

the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible.

You cannot educate a man wholly out of the superstitious fears

which were implanted in his imagination,

no matter how utterly his reason may reject them."

~Sir Oliver Wendell Homes, Sr. 1872

xoxoxoo

Proverbs 31: Swept and Sprinkled, Ma Joad as a P 31 Woman

   As we sink into the warmth and wisdom of Proverbs 31 

as it applies to women, rather than to kings as in the first few verses, 

a lovely and demanding image comes into focus. 

We begin to see the heart and the habits of a woman who clearly makes her home a priority. 

The descriptions available to us go far beyond dull exteriors, too. 

They evoke purpose, joy, self discipline, industriousness,
and above all... love.

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   Always a sucker for characterization, I would like to propose a literary parallel. Earlier this summer our book club gobbled up a fairly modern classic, Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. If you're interested, I wrote more on that book here, Trading Wrath for Gratitude and here, the full book review.

   One of the main characters in Grapes is of course Ma Joad. She is the matriarch of her growing and suffering family, and she leads them with great dignity and resourcefulness as they migrate westward and endure one devastation after another.

   Ma Joad cooks whatever food stuffs she can collect, and she does so with aching love. She feeds strangers with astonishing generosity. She washes her family's dust-packed clothes in brutal circumstances. She keeps her adult children motivated and soothes her husband's frayed nerves and bolsters his wilting ego. She honors her aging and sometimes difficult parents. (Actually, I think they are her in-laws.) She keeps house in every sense of the word, both physically and spiritually.

   One of the rituals Ma Joad maintains no matter where they camp, no matter who is with them or what is happening that day, seems to be cleaning the floors. Despite the Dust Bowl conditions of extreme dryness and wind-blown dirt that would permeate every crevice, she persists. She places high priority on refreshing her family's state of mind by refreshing their physical surroundings.

Steinbeck frequently used the phrase, "swept and sprinkled" to describe Ma's finished house.

And while she did special things for guests, she kept house for her family.

Photo Sourced from Google, original website unavailable.

 
   My husband's grandparents lived in western Oklahoma during the infamous Dust Bowl. They farmed and raised their families and survived the incredible heat and drought. When I finished The Grapes of Wrath, no doubt still in that afterglow of having read something so excellent, I asked my wonderful father-in-law a few questions about his childhood memories and the stories he'd heard about his parents and grandparents. Among other stuff, I wanted to know more about "swept and sprinkled." He nodded and smiled knowingly.

   Since the floors were all dirt, Harvey explained, any amount of foot traffic would stir up messy paths all day long. He said that people had a habit of sweeping the thresholds of their homes with a broom then sprinkling the smoothed earth with a little water to settle the dust. He said that this would beautify the home and also minimize the tracking in of dirt.

   So simple.

   And yet, would anyone now really blame Ma Joad had she ignored this task? I mean, the dust was blowing all day, every day. Relentless.

   Sweeping and sprinkling had to be done on a regular, perhaps almost constant basis because of their conditions.

   But she kept doing it. In addition to cooking and washing (by hand, not with a machine) and doctoring and tending, this not young woman made sure her family had a smooth, settled entry to their home. So simple. I find this absolutely beautiful and fascinating.

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   I am so full of wondering about this... Every family is different, every woman is different, and every home is different... But the drive to nest and nurture stretches across cultures and eras and personalities. I'd love some fresh input. Please join me!

• What simple things can you think of that the modern woman might do just to improve her family's state of mind, or their basic physical surroundings? 
• What regular little rituals do you keep for these reasons? 
• Is there something you do every day that makes you feel like your home is "ready" for your people? What makes you super comfy and might make you say, "We are swept and sprinkled and ready."
• How do you feel when you do this stuff? Are you radiating love, or obligation?
• What tasks do we avoid, just because they are painfully monotonous or repetitive? 
• What excuses do we offer ourselves for shirking duties?
• Does not doing something accumulate anything adverse, either spiritual or physical? What are the consequences of this?

   ********************

   I hope this little theme was as enlightening to you as it has been to me. Internalizing the purpose of what we do at home and the true value of the seemingly mundane tasks that comprise home-keeping... these can prompt powerful shifts in attitude. 

   My personal wish is to be more like Ma Joad, for starters. To be more loving in the routine jobs I might prefer to ignore, and to always remember that repetitive tasks sometimes make the biggest difference.

   I wish the same and more for you!! 

   Thanks so much for reading.

"What's this call, this sperit? An' I says, 'It's love.

I love people so much I'm fit to bust, sometimes.'"

~Ma Joad

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Beginning to Dig

Good Morning Ladies! (and gentlemen? LOL Maybe...)

For the second day of Proverbs 31, I am rebooting 

the post I wrote on October 3rd of last year 

about the speaker of this chapter, 
a little bit of the historical context, 

and some possible ways to interpret the material.
As always, I hope you'll join in the conversation!

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   First off, I would like to encourage you to read Perfect Imperfections' thoughts on the entire book of Proverbs throughout the month (October 2011).  Proverbs is a juicy, meaty piece of text to read almost no matter who you are or what your exact personal condition at the moment, because, as Schofield puts it, "This collection of sententious sayings is divine wisdom applied to the earthly conditions of the people of God."  

Sententious means, "Given to or abounding in aphoristic expression  Given to or abounding in excessive moralizing."
Aphoristic means, "A concise statement of a principle.  A terse formulation of a truth or sentiment." 

   

   I groove direct and timeless.  I groove applicable wisdom, and this is it baby.

   This is a flavor apart from law and parable; this is a rich assemblage of morals, rules of thumb, bits of wisdom, and (then) socially agreed upon objectives for us to digest and consider.

   The final part of the six parts of this book is chapter 31, which is my focus this month.  I did quite a bit of reading to learn about the speaker and context of these thirty one verses, only to discover a rare Biblical mystery.  Evidently some debate remains over the true identity of "Lemuel," some people believing he is actually King Solomon (making the speaker's mother Bathsheba), others understanding the translation to be almost symbolic, more of a general representation of God's king, or a man dedicated to God. Still another camp suggests this is advice given to the church herself.

   I encourage you to read more on your own if the background feels vital to your acceptance or understanding of this book.  There is always Wikipedia, but I personally found Dr. Claude Mariottini to be clear and studious.  Also, this Bible study page was easy to read. As always, if you happen to have some insight on this topic PLEASE share!

"The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy 

that his mother taught him.

What, my son?  and what, the son of my womb?

and what, the son of my vows?"

~Proverbs 31:1-2

   So we begin the month ready to explore either advice given to an historical king by his trusted and beloved mother or just really good, deep down wisdom that applies to all of us.  Perhaps especially those in positions of authority.  Maybe both.

   I can hardly wait!

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   Tomorrow's theme will be bit different, as will a few days this week. I have a couple of fun things planned, and one fabulous woman who curates Periphery has thrown her smart, well written hat into the ring for guest posting! 

   Wishing you all a really great Tuesday. I am off for a long and much needed run outside, some horse grooming and floor mopping, and then an afternoon filled with sewing projects. 

   See you tomorrow!

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and science."
~Albert Einstein
xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31, the King James Text

I am starting this month of study with the actual King James text

and a few scriptural references for this chapter...

Read it, soak it up, and let it speak to you a little.

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1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgement of any of the afflicted.

6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.

9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

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References:

• Job 29: 15, 16
• I Samuel 19:4
• Esther 4:16
• Leviticus 19:15
• Deuteronomy 1:16
• Job 29:12
• Isaiah 1:17
• Jeremiah 22:16
• Psalm 2:12
• Romans 12:11
• Luke 12:42
• Ephesians 4:28
• Hebrews 13:16
• Proverbs 12:4
• Psalm 19:9

Thanks for reading!

See you tomorrow for a look 

at the history, speaker, and context of this chapter.