Showing posts with label small stones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label small stones. Show all posts

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Warmth & Faith (Small Stone January 29th)

   Another unseasonably warm January afternoon. The sun sits confidently on my bare arms and neck, pressing into my skin his secret plans for growth and new life. The breeze kicks up sometimes, sending that cold slice of winter back through my hair, but the sunshine persists. Smiling at the calendar, telling the early budded trees not to worry, everything is as it should be, even if you don't understand. 
   I take silent count of the incredible moves of God in our life, both over the years and just this past week. I feel the weight and comfort of His steady presence despite the cold of those yet unanswered longings. His Love and mercy wrap around me and press into my heart His secret plans for growth.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Friday Afternoon Potential (Small Stone January 27th)

   It's been a full day here of laundry, ironing, organizing, filling water troughs, feeding animals, and cleaning the chicken coop. I managed to write a little bit then stumble through a p90x video, which makes me happy. At 4:50 I am freshly showered. Waiting for Friday to truly arrive with my husband's homecoming. The house is clean and quiet, my mind is mercifully calm, and the biggest questions in my heart are faced down for now. I do not feel one tiny bit guilty for an afternoon cup of coffee and a piece of toast slathered in Nutella. Well, maybe a tiny bit. But that feeling pales against the blank canvas of possibility that keeps stretching out in front of me everywhere I look.

   Happy weekend everyone! No, happy life. Happy life to you no matter what difficulty comes your way, no matter what pain you feel or what regret you harbor. Happy life to you in every sense of the word. Find that long view again, then live in the moment. Accept your blessings and use them to be a blessing to others. Savor your adventures and surprises. Enjoy your life in small, simple ways. Love slowly and deeply. Protect your peacefulness when it is threatened, and let it grow. Trust that Love conquers all.  xoxoxo

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Wheel of Friendly (Small Stone January 25th)

   If I were a game show, I would want to be Wheel of Fortune. The hosts are never surly, always friendly. And apparently they don't age. The puzzles are workable, not reliant on bizarre trivia or statistical luck. And, most importantly, no contestant goes home empty handed. I just love that. Not because I believe every child needs a trophy for every effort made in life, but because it's just nice. Paying even the least winning contestant a $1,000 parting gift is the game show equivalent of a nice party favor. The best parties send people home with a little summin-summin.

The end.
 

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Eyewitness of His Majesty (Small Stone January 22)

   Sitting on a hard pew, sliding around on the polished wooden planks because of my polyester dress and winter tights, shivering from the cold air, I look forward and blink. I am listening to the scriptures passively at first, gliding thoughtlessly through our Sunday morning routine with little effort. 

   Until the speaker's eyes change. His brow furrows and his voice follows suit, revealing light that is about to break through. And then it does.

   Long wrestled questions are calmly and brightly put to bed in my heart with a great, silent swoop. 

"For we have not followed cunningly devised fables,
when we made known unto you 
the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
but were eyewitnesses of his majesty."
~II Peter 1:16

   I have myself been an eyewitness to the physical healing of my own children and in this moment am recharged to believe again in the promise of new miracles.

   How could I have grown so comfortable in my lack of vision?

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Most Serious Small Stone Ever

   I drop in the peeled chunks of orange, fibrous and glistening, along with the firm, fragrant pieces of banana. Spooning in a tub of plain Greek yogurt and then drizzling over that some local honey, I suddenly feel so thankful for these fresh ingredients. So ready for the burst of energy they'll provide. 
   After two months of over indulgence and relative inactivity, this moment at the kitchen blender is a turning point. I lay my hand on top and press a button at the base. The motor whirs to life, and reflexively my mind counts off the days to bikini season. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Self Sufficient (Small Stone January 18th)

   This morning was cold. Beautiful, yes, but definitely colder than the deliciously warm days we've enjoyed all month. The pond wore a thin skin of ice even where the sun could reach.  The grass was crunchy with frost. And all the animals were heaving out plumes of steamy breath as they patrolled the farm. One of my jobs this morning was to make sure everyone could find fresh water to drink throughout the day.

   I did that and some other things and was quietly distributing piles of hay for the four-leggeds and tearing off bits of stale bread for the birds when I heard it. A loud, crushing sound and then a splash behind me. Chunk-hi had hammered his great, square chin and then his massive horns against the ice in his trough, releasing the loose water beneath it.

   "Oh I'm sorry, little buddy, I totally forgot about your trough!"

   "That's okay, Mom. I got this." His long beard was dripping with water, his horns shiny and steaming. Long black eyelashes blinking calmly at me.

   He can't really talk, you guys. He's a buffalo. But we understand each other just fine.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Thursday Potential (Small Stone January 12th)

   After what might have been the deepest, most solid sleep I have enjoyed in weeks, maybe months, I sit here on Thursday morning facing a long, solitary day that pulses with incredible possibility. It is thrilling.

   Snow covers the ground, not deep and fluffy, but crusted and bitterly cold, probably something closer to ice. Yet the sun is bright, loud in his brightness, defiant of the single digit temperatures. I feel grateful to not have to drive anywhere today, fortunate that my place in this world is a cozy one, a safe, happy, meaningful one. 

   Over the next eight or nine hours, what improvements can I make in our little corner of the world? What reaching out can be done? How much can I strengthen our foundations and adorn our dreams?

   Choosing how to funnel my abundant energy is often my biggest daily challenge, and today is no exception. but today it is a motivation, not a burden. Today the possibilities are potential.

   I cannot help but wonder how much of this feeling has to do with my hair being freshly washed and blown dry.
   

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Still Morning (Small Stone January 10th)

   At 6:38 this morning we creep outside for another Hot Tub Summit. The moon still rests high on her nighttime throne, gloriously full, casting brilliant silver light all over the hills and valleys and fields. I cannot detect the slightest breeze, no movement anywhere. Even the geese are quiet. The farm is still asleep.

   Oak, blackjack, red bud, and pine trees stretch their perfect, inky silhouettes out against the sky while we soak in the scalding water and unwind ourselves from the night.
   
   When the time finally comes to abandon the quiet, to begin a new day, that smooth gray canopy above us has clicked over to a deep shade of blue. The moon is politely receding into the western sky. And the guineas have started their morning song.


On My Envy (Small Stone January 9th)

Just a reminder that it says more about me than anyone else. 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Chilly Sunday Afternoon (Small Stone January 8th)

   The air is cooler today than it's been in a while, crisper and drier too. The sky is slate gray with only patches of blue here and there, and where the afternoon sun manages to scrape through the clouds, its light is a dull silver instead of the usual gold. The evocative fragrance of a bonfire mixes with the smells of hay, leather, and chicken litter, so that closing my eyes takes me back to our beloved Buffalo Mountain. 
   Out of nowhere a breeze kicks up, scattering a thousand fragile oak leaves and slicing through  my long but thin cotton sleeves. I am reminded gently that we're still in the middle of January, that the sublime springtime fantasy these past weeks was exactly that.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Brushing Chanta (Small Stone January 7th)

   I drag the circular metal brush along his body, easily and gently sorting out the red dirt from his long winter hairs which have dried together in wavy, random peaks. He's definitely been in the pond today. This boy smells of mud,  sunshine, and a little algae. 

   The longer I brush him the more he relaxes, until his left rear hoof cocks up nearly off the ground, transferring even more of his 1200 pounds forward. A good sign of sleepiness.

   He lets me smooth and clean his gorgeous neck, then every muscular part of his body, and then each of his four incredible legs, all the while listening to his deep, steady breathing, until all that remains uncombed are his belly and his throat. 

   His round belly is ticklish, so i have to be more careful here. Brushing it wakes him up a bit, and he bends that long, thick neck far to his left for a closer look at my progress. We Eskimo kiss peacefully and I continue. He exhales as if to surrender.

   Once his belly is clean and smooth again, liberated from that afternoon cloud of red dirt, I creep gingerly to kneel in front of this gentle giant. Brushing his throat, touching his feet, squeezing his knobby knees, inhaling his sweet, warm breath and noticing the halo of late day sun through the edge of his coat. So beautiful, this horse. His ankles, so strong and solid, are covered by tendrils of silver blond hair for winter.

   Now squatting in front of him, I rest my forehead on that plump, divided piece of flesh on his chest. Nuzzle him with my cheek. Kiss his furry shoulder. He returns the gesture by leaning way down and simply resting his chubby mouth on the top of my head. I am pretty sure he fell asleep again in this position, just for a couple of minutes. I sit very still and just accept it. Then without warning I feel him chewing sneakily on my ponytail. 

   I could stay here and do this all day. So could he, I think, because when I finally stand and walk reluctantly away he crosses my path and nudges my hands, insisting on more.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Sensual Morning (Small Stone January 6th)

   Mid morning sun bathes everything downstairs in warmth and brightness, revealing both sparkling glass and dusty chair legs. I can smell fresh coffee, dish washing soap, and pine scented perfume, a Scentsy gift from my cousin Jen. Big, broad, healthy poinsettia leaves in red, green and creamy white beg to be touched. They look and feel like threadbare velvet. This reminds me to brush the horses, to kiss their velvet noses. Which reminds me to scoop more manure today, please and thank you. Which makes me wonder how many pairs of jeans I still have clean.
   At 8:23 a.m., anything is still possible. A good chunk of my daily tasks are already completed and nearly ten hours stand between us and a blessedly holiday-free weekend. This fact is both motivating and paralyzing.

   I wonder what the girls are doing this morning. 
How happy, healthy, sleepy, excited, nostalgic, 
romantic, silly, curious, angry, or ornery they might feel.
I hope they feel my love.

   Having a difficult time peeling myself away from the quiet, I decide to drain the last of my sweet, hot coffee from my favorite chipped rooster mug. See what kind of dent I can make in the day. Saying a quick prayer for everyone to return to Love, truth, and beauty, and to cling to those as much as possible. It's now 8:34 a.m., time to launch.

Bird Watching (Small Stone January 5th)

   Sitting in our big east window this Thursday morning, our large macaw on my shoulder, I can't help but notice the barrier between wild and tame. I can smell his powdery dander, feel his smooth feathers against my face, and hear his gentle mornings clucks and kisses. He mostly focuses on me and only occasionally notices the flurry of activity outdoors. On the other side of the smooth glass pane, cardinals, blue jays, crows, and so many other birds are in swarms today. Zooming through the abundant sunshine, hunting breakfast, swirling patterns of love and freedom in the clean January sky. 
   The smallest birds are like specks compared to our huge blue and yellow baby, but despite his size and despite his massive hook bill and sharp talons, he is the most vulnerable of them all.

********************

Not two minutes after writing this, 
Pacino had returned to his cage 
and a very small, fat, gray and brown bird 
crashed violently into the picture window. 
Pacino jumped muttered seriously, "Uh-oh. What happened?"

Apparently domesticity breeds some compassion.  

I thanked my lucky bird-Momma stars that he was safe in his gilded cage,
perhaps a little less vulnerable than I a moment ago believed.

pinnable

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