Redeem the Time (Today)

   Last week or so I wrote for Edie my thoughts on time management, just my overall approach to making life count for what you want it to count for. Pardon all of those prepositions. Today I am thinking more in terms of right now, today, Tuesday, just these next eighteen hours or so. Since as all the poets tell us... all we really have is the present moment, it's good once in a while to focus on that.

   Since last week's grief, which kept us not just home but in our cave, Handsome and I have also taken a few days to be really sick. Like... running fevers and sleeping for a thousand hours at a time sick. So work here at the farm has been whittled down to the bare necessities. I am not quite where I should be with the marathon training schedule, nor am I completely caught on on ironing or animal habitat cleaning or even some semblance of order in the kitchen pantry. It's one of those weeks when I feel pretty good just having the shopping and laundry done and the floors swept.

   But today is a good day. I can feel it in my bones. After such an outpouring of love and support from all of you and our family and friends, Handsome and I already feel the sadness lifting. The happy memory making is right around the corner! So no more tears.

   And the groundhog's springtime promises are coming true too! Oklahoma is collecting one spring storm warning after another, and the days are so nice I have not used our house heater since early Sunday. Windows open. It's my favorite.

   With so much catching up to do, I am seeing my time in small increments right now. How can I redeem this little golden chunk of minutes? What results can I squeeze out of this half hour, this jackpot of freedom which in more leisurely weeks might seem like nothing?

   As with any resource, there is a great blessing to being limited. The less you have something (for me, this week, it's time), the more valuable it is. And the smarter you hopefully are in spending it. I am thoroughly enjoying the challenge of capturing pockets of time and finding out what they're worth. Redeeming the hours and the minutes for groomed horses, accomplished writing goals, pressed laundry, shiny rooms, and clean gardens. Yesterday was a great start! And with its momentum I feel like today will be even better. Our errands for the farm are done for at least a week, so any time I can keep to myself will be spent on this castle and its grounds and citizens.

   Do you do this? Do you ever reduce your biggest goals and values down to how they translate to just one day? I believe that if our foundations and pillars are properly set, then our energy will work for us day by day. Late last night I read this in the Dietrich Bonhoeffer biography currently being devoured by our book club:

"Under the right blessing, life becomes healthy, secure, expectant, active, precisely because it is lived out of the source of life, strength, joy, activity... If human beings have passed on to loved ones and to many the blessing they have themselves received, then they have surely fulfilled the most important thing in life; then they have surely themselves become persons happy in God and have made others happy in God."

   Expectant and active. I just love that. I love the entire passage. And I am so grateful to those of you who constantly share your joy and love, your blessings and wisdom. When it springs from the same source, it binds us all together.

   Thanks again for your generous love, everyone. Daphne's memory post will be up later this week. And may your Tuesday absolutely glitter with new life and satisfying work!

   Take today as it stands and wring out of it everything you want. Rest tonight.

"Anyone can carry his burden however hard, until nightfall.
Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day.
Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, 
   till the sun goes down.
And this is all life really means."
~Robert Louis Stevenson
xoxoxo

Redeeming the Time

   For many of my adult years, one of my favorite little catch phrases was "Carpe Diem," you know, Seize the Day. Original, no? What can I say? I was rapt by Good Will Hunting.

   Then this mantra refined itself a bit when my girls left home. First my beautiful eldest in 2008, then my sweet baby two years later, they left a very contemplative empty nest behind as well as many hours, weeks, and months that needed purpose. While this nest emptying is a universal experience, our circumstances are a bit unusual. The girls left home many years ahead of schedule and not in a happy or easily understandable way.

 
   During that tough chapter I dove passionately, desperately into prayer and Bible study, seeking not only comfort but also answers, solutions, and direction. What I discovered was a far more powerful approach to Carpe Diem... a scriptural instruction to Redeem the Time.

Redeem the Time.
"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools,
but as wise, redeeming the time, 
because the days are evil."
Ephesians 5:15-16

   This message was a rich balm to me in those first months, each time one of the girls left. It helped me see that bright glimmers of purpose and meaning could absolutely be hidden in all of that darkness.

   Gradually, as I prayed and ached, cried and panicked, screamed and threw things in the barn, this message to Redeem the Time began to crystallize and solidify. It cropped up in everything I read. I dreamed it. It echoed in my head while I worked. Other people delivered the words to me, each probably thinking he or she was the sole harbinger.

   Redeem the time.

   That it was specifically for me I had no doubt. When it didn't infuriate me (redeem THIS time?! What good can possibly come from this??) it was a great comfort. (There's something available to you here.Your life is still worthwhile.)

   Your life is DEFINITELY still worthwhile, no matter what.

   Redeeming anything implies that for what you give, you receive something.

   Redeem the time. Your time will get spent whether you like it or not. It's how you spend it that determines what you'll receive in exchange.

   The truth behind this is that everything in life is really just for a season. For better or worse, nothing lasts forever. We are given unique sets of circumstances, unique blessings, and unique challenges, over and over again. Our lives ares seasonal, and rather than resist that and kick against that, we should embrace it, accept the inherent blessings and face the natural losses.

   Celebrate the dazzling grace.

   Redeem the time.

   This message continues to hover around my heart now, informing my patchwork days and helping me structure my goals.

   Now that we have rediscovered our life rhythms, following routines and pursuing happiness in so many fresh ways while still fighting to keep family ties at least in view, always ready for tying them up, what was once a forced effort for survival is now a habit. My various energies are streaked with the momentum to see the uniqueness of each and every day and act on that. I am trained to capitalize on how things are right now and how they might never be again. Under this wisdom, not only is each day a gift; each change of plans is a gift too. Each season is certainly a gift, for we may only live it once.

"You can never step into the same river;

for new waters are always flowing on to you."

~Heraclitus of Ephesus*

*interesting to note that this quote, from about 600 years before the Bible verse above was first spoken, 

came from a philosopher in about the same part of the world.

It's a total coincidence that I thought of these lines in tandem, Had no idea, but that's cool.

   Redeem the time.

   How will I make good use of this time? Of this empty house? Of all of my throbbing maternal energy and ideas?

   How can I redeem my talents and resources in this life?

   What chapter are you in? How can you make good use of it? What is so truly unique about those circumstances that you might never step in your river again? What do you not want to miss out on while you're here? Or how can you use this chapter to prepare for the next one?

   Redeem the time.

   You know what? Making this adjustment in my heart has helped me bear the fruit of more laughter and fewer tears. More friends and less loneliness. Much more meaningful versions of everything I endeavor to do, however simple. When it comes to my girls, "Redeem the Time"  means that our time together, however brief compared to my heart's longings, is rich with affection, experience, memory making and joy! Far less often is stress or regret a part of the picture. I'll take it.

   Redeem the time.

   All of this is the heavy stuff, the foundation. But Redeem the Time is also a touchstone for daily activities. I remember this premise when the weather changes and I suddenly scrap my indoor tasks to be outside. Who doesn't grab a chance to play in the dirt? I also remember it if my husband is out of town for a few days; this is a great time to do deep cleaning or some of "those" projects that require things looking worse before they look better. I'm lucky to not be tethered to any job other than my own beautiful home and our animals, so I can respond to shifting needs over and over again. I love it!

   Redeem the time.

   What is your day worth? Not just in monetary terms, although we cannot ignore that. But what would you like to see showing for your effort and passion at the end of the day?
 

 
   I hope this wasn't too rambling. It's been a challenging week here at the farm, but I so appreciate Edie's invitation to write about time management. The lessons I have learned these past few years have been paying off in dividends, especially these past few months. Truly. It's like everything is clicking. Worrying less about lists and more about fulfillment has really opened up my heart. I hope the idea of redeeming your time is useful to you; and I hope that you find ways to trade your time and energy for more and more valuable treasures every day.

Redeem your Time.

"Experience is a cruel teacher.
It gives the test first and then the lesson."
~Unknown
xoxoxoxo


 
 

Sensual Morning (Small Stone January 6th)

   Mid morning sun bathes everything downstairs in warmth and brightness, revealing both sparkling glass and dusty chair legs. I can smell fresh coffee, dish washing soap, and pine scented perfume, a Scentsy gift from my cousin Jen. Big, broad, healthy poinsettia leaves in red, green and creamy white beg to be touched. They look and feel like threadbare velvet. This reminds me to brush the horses, to kiss their velvet noses. Which reminds me to scoop more manure today, please and thank you. Which makes me wonder how many pairs of jeans I still have clean.

   At 8:23 a.m., anything is still possible. A good chunk of my daily tasks are already completed and nearly ten hours stand between us and a blessedly holiday-free weekend. This fact is both motivating and paralyzing.

   I wonder what the girls are doing this morning. 

How happy, healthy, sleepy, excited, nostalgic, 

romantic, silly, curious, angry, or ornery they might feel.

I hope they feel my love.

   Having a difficult time peeling myself away from the quiet, I decide to drain the last of my sweet, hot coffee from my favorite chipped rooster mug. See what kind of dent I can make in the day. Saying a quick prayer for everyone to return to Love, truth, and beauty, and to cling to those as much as possible. It's now 8:34 a.m., time to launch.