Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Random Tuesday Evening Thoughts

   My mind is swimming with thoughts this evening, boiling even, in a very pleasant way. By contrast the Oklahoma skies are dark, damp, and heavy, so these kinetic thoughts are comforting. The silent headlines are so undulating and cryptic, though, that I can barely organize my sentences. I really can't be sure whether any of this is even connected, but I feel like we're on the precipice of something big in our little family, so stamping the moment might be a good idea.
   Peace in the midst of a storm is a funny thing to me. Although no circumstances have changed for us, in fact only more time has accumulated with difficulty unchanged, I feel inexplicably better and on a cellular level. Far more assured in my heart that not only are things going to be alright; things are exactly as they should be right now, including the pain and questions. These are a vital part of life, after all, and I should not hope to be exempt from the testing. None of our dreams have been abandoned. Of course I have questions and moments of fear, but that steady, glowing peace is real. I trust that God is in control and I know that He is nothing but Love and Mercy.

   The weather here begs a lot of attention, by the way. From meteorological records broken to prophecies  teased at and environmental issues debated, things will be blogged. Soon.

   I have boasted quite a bit about my husband on here but am now privately enjoying a renaissance of love for him and suppose I can share that too. Deep, resounding love. One of the surprises provided by ten years of marriage is the repeating opportunity to see him in a different light. I watch him face challenges and mature and refine himself as a man. I learn things about myself through his eyes. And I renew the most important convictions between us.

These are Handsome's strong, capable hands comforting a baby guinea. 
Earlier that day these hands had dealt with crisis after crisis at work
and balanced the best interests of many people for whom he cares sincerely.
Later that night these hands were mine.

   Legacy is in the air right now, due in part to the seasonal shift and the winter calendar being heavily laden with family traditions. But I know it's also a result of so much thinking about and praying for the girls. My sister and her children are still grieving unspeakable loss, too, and words to comfort them escape me. They will certainly struggle with legacy for many decades, but they will also receive Grace when they need it most.  
   My grandparents are with me a lot these days too, further underscoring the theme of legacy. Tonight my  cousin Emily and I shared a brief but powerful exchange about childhood memories of our shared grandmother. I was struck by the simple aspects of Grandma's daily life that ended up being her legacy.

The top frame contains a pencil and marker drawing by my Grandma. 
She was a beautiful, olive skinned, eclectic woman 
who made the most dramatic vase arrangements from just wildflowers and weeds. 
She would probably laugh that so many of us in the family 
keep these doodles and treat them like relics, 
but to me this crispy, yellowed sheet of paper is a reminder 
to live simply and draw beauty from common things.

   Outside my kitchen window is a section of earth destined to be an herb garden! My very own potagerie, something purposefully different from the larger vegetable garden out back. I have been slowly conditioning the soil there and will soon be contouring the area with hardy Liriope. Then wild garlic, daffodils, boxwood, lavender hedges, rosemary, and poppies. I can hardly contain myself!!! Every kitchen does really need its own private garden, and I really looking forward to sharing the folklore, art, and science behind my plans.

   In a few weeks we will be participating in a chicken coop Christmas decorating contest, so I am collecting amazing ideas from all over the place and deciding which ones are worth the expense of time. We are talking about chickens and geese, after all, and they are messy. They are sweet but terribly challenged in the manners and classiness department.

   This is my favorite song lately. In fact anything this girl ever sings makes me warm and gooey. This live version starts off kinda iffy, so please be patient and give it a chance! Go brush your teeth or something and come back once it's buffered or whatever.

Wishing you more order in your own thoughts but just as much peace and joy.


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