Thursday, November 1, 2012

Impromptu Stuffed Mushrooms

   Two special circumstances have intersected to bring about a new recipe at the Lazy W tonight:

  1. Handsome and I have been trying to eat a little less of the sweet, fluffy, carb-laden foods we so adore, because we might want to buy skinny jeans.
  2. Mushrooms were on sale at the grocery store yesterday. Firm, plump, unblemished, clean, earthy smelling mushrooms.
   I started dinner preparations super  late tonight. Hungry but also sleepy from a really fun and busy week, I tried to think of something to cook that would warm up my tired bones but also not undo all the healthy habits we've formed lately. Handsome had already declined a baked potato. So while three thick, boneless pork chops were rotating seductively in the counter top rotisserie oven, I chopped up a green salad and decided to see how hard it would be to make stuffed mushrooms. You know what? Not hard at all. The finished product is not only delicious but also as filling as a baked potato and way more satisfying because it doesn't  give you that sugar-tummy feeling afterwards.

   Pretty much, this is all it entails:
  1. Remove the stems from a package of fresh mushrooms and chop em up.
  2. Dry roast the plain mushroom caps in your oven for a few minutes. They will go into the oven dry and emerge about ten minutes later with little oily puddles of moisture in the center of each. Like pools of collected tears. Or dew drops from the garden of good and evil. Or the sweat of unfulfilled longings. Or... mushroom water. Whatever.
  3. Saute in butter and olive oil those chopped up mushroom stems along with some minced garlic and whatever spices you want. I let it all cook until the butter browned and foamed and the earthy mushroom fragrance filled the downstairs of our house. More autumnal smelling than apples and cinnamon!
  4. Combine the cooked garlic-mushroom mix with some grated Parmesan cheese, Panko crumbs (or I suppose bread crumbs, Panko is just what I had), and more spices if you want. How much? Not really sure. I just poured things into my favorite pink bowl until it seemed like enough. And it was way too much.
  5. Spoon this crumbly, fragrant, slightly moist stuffing into each of the roasted mushroom caps, accepting emotionally that you do not understand the law of displacement since obviously the void left by the stems could not possibly be so great as the mass of said stems combined with several other bulky ingredients.
  6. Bake these stuffed mushroom caps and goof around for a while. Pretend like you're writing a novel in thirty days. Eat some of the cherry tomatoes you had thrown lazily on the salads. Curse forever the bane of houseflies. Try to remember without aid of a search engine the name of the guy who is credited for the law of displacement.
  7. Decide that if you ever have a turtle you shall name him Archimedes.
   These stuffed mushrooms are pretty darn delish, you guys. Firm, flavorful, almost meaty in your mouth, and technically a vegetable, right? They come out of the oven unreasonably hot, though, so do contain your curiosity for a while in favor of an un-scorched tongue.

   I was way too sleepy tonight to stage the food for a nice photo, so above you see, instead of a garlic-mushroom-stuffed mushroom, a kitten-stuffed pumpkin with a side of happy little girl. It's pretty much the same thing.

   Cheers, friends! And happy culinary experimenting to you!! See you soon for a return to Proverbs 31, some nephew stories, and much more!

Actually, Happy Little Girls are Way Better than Stuffed Mushrooms.
If You Have One, Hug Her!


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